No Negativity!

Conversation between two people:

Person A: OMG UGH! Why does every fat girl want to be a plus size model? There are so many other ways impact plus size fashion.

Person B: one word: validation. They feel like at least if they are a fat girl, they should at least be a pretty fat girl. LOL.

Lesson of the day:

People will always try to bring you down  but stay focus on the goal. If you succeed then immediately set another goal and if you fail get back up and try again!

Until nest saty bless…

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8 thoughts on “No Negativity!

  1. I can deffintely get behind that! people just like to put other people down to make themselves feel better. Seems to me like person A & B saw a fabulous looking plus size girl rocking her style and they felt jealous because she probably looked way better than them 🙂


  2. Person B here… I feel as though this has been completely taken out of context. You know I am not a negative person, Sarah. Some women are so insecure, though. I am all about confidence and body positivity, and I think if the women in question have the talent necessary to pursue plus size modeling, then hey should, but I also feel that many women get into it because they think that being validated by/in traditional media (television/magazines), then they will finally feel better about themselves, but as we all know, confidence has to come from the inside. I think anyone getting into it should really question the reasons why. I am not negative, I’m just realistic. I think that all women should feel confident and comfortable in their own skin, and they shouldn’t need anyone to tell them they’re beautiful to feel that way. Unfortunately, there are many modeling “agencies” out there that prey on women who have confidence issues, and have them pay big money for headshots, makeup, hair, etc, and we as a community need to stand up and inform others about this and try to protect/warn those that might be susceptible to this sort of thing. There are so many ways to make an important contribution to the plus size community, and modeling is just one of them.

    • Greetings Karen,

      Didn’t want to put you on the hot spot but since you open the Pandora box please allow me to correctly close it. I also didn’t think you were a negative person but this comment was far from being REALISTIC my dear with the way you phrased it then. Now you can try as much as you can to make it sound as if there was some kind good intentions behind this comment but the reality is that it was a harsh and mean comment especially coming from a plus size fashion blogger who’s perfectly aware of the cruelty plus size women are faced with on a daily basis. This being said, if people like Fluvia Lacerda, Denise Bidot and Mia Amber (…may she rest in peace) had comments similar to this thrown at them by there own peers at the beginning of their career or simply at a fragile moment in their life do you think it would have resulted to such success today?!? Now, let just say that you didn’t mean to be harsh(…even with the “LOL” at the end)…Some people now look up to you to, as an active member of the plus size community, for advice so you should be more careful on what you throw out there because comment like this make you sound like a ‘DREAM BREAKER’ or even a “HATER”.

      QSF is all about promoting beauty, self-worth and confidence even when society is telling you the total opposite. Your comment was a just another example of random negativity aspiring plus size model would be faced with, which is why I felt like it was important to make this post. I totally agree you with that some may take advantage of women with such ambitions and that indeed there’s a lot ways to make an important contribution to the plus size community. I also agree with you that we as a community need to stand up and inform others about this and try to protect/warn those that might be susceptible to this sort of thing but please forgive my ignorance and explain how a comment like this (“They feel like at least if they are a fat girl, they should at least be a pretty fat girl. LOL.”) helped fulfill this purpose? I feel like on the contrary you were just mocking the girls who indeed are in this field for the wrong reason. I would even go to the extent to say that it was simply an offensive generalization and being an educated women you should have known better OR maybe I’m too dumb to see all the positivity behind your comment.

      That’s it for me so peace and blessings to you Karen!

  3. It wasn’t actually me that opened the pandora’s box, as I wasn’t the one who posted this on their blog without even telling the parties involved that it was on here to give them the chance to defend their positions.

    You clearly do not understand my intentions, so are unable to make a distinction with regards to whether that are good or not. I am a feminist, and I do not think that women should have to put themselves in the position of being acknowledged by traditional media just to have their beauty or worth validated. My comment is regarding the lack of self-esteem that many plus size women often have. They feel as though if they model, they will automatically feel better about themselves because someone else has told them that they are pretty enough to be in a magazine or on television. We both know that self-esteem has to come from the inside. Many of these girls seek external validation because they don’t know how to love themselves. And that is what I have a problem with.

    The examples you mentioned (Denise Bidot, Fluvia Lacerda, and Mia Amber Davis) are all extraordinary women who clearly demonstrate an amazing amount of self confidence, which is part of why they are successful. I just don’t think that women getting into modeling for the wrong reasons (because they think it will make them feel better about themselves) would be able to achieve that kind of success (mainly because that lack of self-confidence eventually shows through and doesn’t translate well in their performance). Becoming a plus size model is the same thing as losing weight for a lot of women – they think it will make them feel better about themselves, but once they’re into it, they realize that they still feel the same old longing and self-doubt. My comment reflects the fact that our society places far too much emphasis on beauty. There are SO many other contributions that plus size women can make other than gracing the cover of a magazine. I would just like to see some of that wonderful energy of these women redirected inward, and also to other important pursuits.

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